Walking Dad

This was the first name that came to my mind for creating a new page in Trippie. It is maybe because I was so much exposed to the famous series `Walking Dead`. It might sound weird to you, but zombie movies always seemed interesting to me. And title supposed to be ironic as most dads describe their first year with no sleep wandering around like zombies. Anyways, this post is not supposed to tell you more about zombies, but to express my real feelings as a father-to-be.

Yes!

I envy people who are sharing their real experiences in a sincere way. It can be a blog post, article, twit or just a simple old-fashion letter. There is so much bullshit in the net that makes it sometimes impossible to separate real from the fake. On this page, I want to share my sincere experiences since I learned that I was a father candidate.

It was a random early morning when I woke up with my wife yelling at me : `Come here, quick!`

It was weird. My wife never wakes me up like this.

She was holding a stick which she was smiling at. Still weird. What I supposed to do??!!

Then she completed her words : `I think I am pregnant`. She was not even sure and she did not prefer to say `I am definitely pregnant`. In the end it was only a pee-stick, right?

I had all the mixed feelings at once. Happiness, fear, worry, obscurity.

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Next step was the blood test which supposed to be much more convenient. And it was the first time I started getting used to the complicated terminology of pregnancy. We were told to make a beta-hcG test. Level was 496 mUI/mL, she mailed the result to the doctor and the whatsapp answer was short and simple : `Congratulations, you are pregnant`.

She was 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

In first visit, doctor asked another beta-hcG test and the level increased to 1872 in two days. What we saw in the ultrasound was the gestational sac and that`s it. To me, it was another new term 🙂

We were full of questions and our doc was pleasantly replying to all.

She did not recommend to take a flight in first three months. She added a prenatal vitamin to the folic acid. Here we are. Folic acid is a B vitamin your doctor will recommend as a priority. Actually women who plan to have a pregnancy need to start using it 3 months prior to pregnancy. But I am not sure if there can be exact scheduling when to get pregnant 🙂

Once you learn that you are pregnant, doc adds prenatal vitamin in your med menu.

You might have no idea why guys should know these detailed information. I did not and I do not also, but definitely you will be exposed to every detail. So get ready to be prenatal.

Let`s switch to advises for 5th and 6th weeks. So, you might not realize certain changes in your wife`s body. But there are changes you should get used to from now on. Did she like to sleep? No way. Now she will sleep, wake up and sleep again. She will sleep half of the day. She will have a slight fatigue. One day, she will be eating anything she sees, second day she will not want to eat anything. Do not force her. Eating healthy will be more important than anything.

sleeping beauty

Mornings are ok. One egg, slice of cheese, some milk, fruit salad and vegetables. That`s it.

If she is working, there are not many options around. You should find a way for her lunches. She should eat meat for protein.

Dinners are easier than lunches. You have the chance to prepare something at home. And yes, you are the alternative cook anymore. Open youtube and learn some tariffs.

You know women have already ups and downs during the day. This is a given fact. Oh, you should see pregnant women. She can shout at you, do not argue. She will come and kiss you in 5 minutes. She can be nervous when you try to wake her up. Calm down. She can be touchy. Keep her warm and pleasant.

Guys, forget all. You really do not have much to do. We are not designed to have inter-personal skills to all these reactions. Find your own way, but be sure it will never work in each case. Make your own case studies.

Our next appointment with our doc is 28 March and we expect first heartbeats…

Note that it is good for you and your wife to join doctor appointments together. Believe me it is supportive for your wife.

Weeks 6 and 7 are tough. She simply does not want to eat anything. Her nose can smell anything and this annoys her. Try to avoid different aromas, flavors and smells in the house. Open the windows and let the air in. Meet the favorite pregnancy words `nausea` and `fatigue`.

One change on the man side. I used to sleep so deeply. I mean I am a guy who could not wake up even in worst earthquake happened in Izmir when I was 7. But now, my sleep is so light that I can wake up even she stretches.

Take care if you are sick as well. I currently have a bad flu and I need to keep myself away from her. I am sleeping in another room, putting a mask in the house and sneezing outside her room. Plus, I am using strong antibiotics which I do not prefer normally. I hope it will pass before she catches anything from me.

God save her from my illness.

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Today it is 7 weeks and 4 days. We plan to see our baby for the first time and hear the heartbeat. I am happy, but more worried and curious. Will we see the fetus? How is the yolk sac? Is the development enough so far? Will we hear any heartbeats? If yes, how many beats per minute? That`s a bit stressful and I am sure my wife has a lot more stress than me, right now.

I hope, today, on 28 March 16:00, we will have some cheers.

By the way, did I mention cleaning, washing, partly cooking, shopping is on me? Yes they are 🙂

And I try to be sensitive, tolerant and understanding as much as I can. These behaviors are challenging as I am quite pigheaded and incredulous in other times.

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Here it is. For the first time, we saw our baby through ultrasound screen. It is 1.35 cm, almost like a bean. The heart bumps 167 beats per minute. So far, everything seems alright, as doctor confirmed. That`s a strange feeling to hear the first heartbeats, believe me. As a dad-to-be, you realize for the first time there is another life in your wife`s belly, literally. We continued to ask tons of questions to the doc, she is patient with our questions, still. I even asked to have same blood tests if needed. That was not real me, definitely. It`s hard to predict how you react to different cases, but I am trying to keep the balance.

And my lovely wife. She is extremely strong, trying to keep as live as she can. She is not complaining at all except few cases. Thanks to you my dear, keep on like this 🙂

Our next doc appointment is on 18 April. Currently the baby is at 7 weeks and 5 days. Expected birth date is 9 November.

I started to go deep into several dad blogs, websites, week by week articles.

I guess I need to start making a detailed budget for all the costs that will appear in following 7 months.

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It`s March 30 today. She is at 8 weeks. I am doing anything to cheer her up but it`s damn hard. She is not into eating at all. It`s hard for us to manage social life as we are still keeping the news for ourselves. So we are basically rejecting any `going out` offers. Once the news is public, they will understand, hopefully 🙂 But currently most important is how my wife feels. It makes me so happy if I see even a small smile on her face. I know it should be too hard for her to keep cheerful. Once again I am cursing as Romanian cuisine does not fit us at all. It`s one of the topics that I wish we were in Turkey. Cheers.

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I can understand why couples expecting for a baby wait for a while to spread the news. Because first you need to realize what it is yourself. We just informed our parents and siblings. My intention is to finish first 3 months to let my good friends. My wife is a bit more hasty than me 🙂 Anyways, we can not behave as there is nothing different. But I will need to wait one more month to be sure that we are on the right track. By the way, she hardly eats anything nowadays. I am in a deep search to find out something that she might consider eating.

Crackers, water with lemon, carrots, potatoes, bananas, dark chocolate, honey, milk, pekmez (grape syrup), nuts may count in this period.

And massage. Do it daily to your wife.

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She is at 9 weeks and she is craving for Çağla and pancakes. I got to learn how to make pancakes but let`s see how we can bring Çağla from Turkey. In this period, I had the best advice from my mom. She said `however she feels, you need to stay strong, calm and cool-headed – keep this attitude from now on because you will be a father`. That was a great tip from mom and I am working on it 🙂

çağla

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She does not even want to enter the kitchen. All that means I need to start cooking.

My first try was pancake (akitma – krep – clătita). Second try was home-made Ayran. I am just keeping the iPad in the kitchen and watching educative youtube videos – for cooking. I envy Arda Turkmen at this point. As a support, we expect a cargo full of desired food from mother-in-law.  You should have seen her cheers when she opened the cargo box full of plum and çağla. (Box sent on 4 April arrived on 12 April – 8 days for an express cargo, well done :))

Meanwhile, I have an important behavioral task for myself – to learn how to keep calm and behave evenly. I no more should be hotblooded. That`s not good for now and in the future.

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Did I mention that you should be a `Yes Man` for all pregnancy long? All changes in her body affects her mood and attitude as well. She can be very angry at normal things and sad afterwards. She can get happy with small things and then miss anything that pops up in her mind. So all you can do is to understand her. Be supportive, do not argue, do not try to prove something. She is right and she can be right for some time. That does not hurt you. I started searching for some useful blogs and websites. These are the ones I bookmarked already.

Almost a dad

Mr Dad

Pregnant Chicken

What to Expect

Great Dad

Baby Centre

Fathers` Forum

The Baby Corner

Dad`s Adventure

Love all Dads – podcasts

The Scared Dad

Baba Olmak (Turkish)

Blog Babba (Turkish)

Biri Baba mi Dedi (Turkish)

Bir Adam Bir Bebek (Turkish)

Taze Baba (Turkish)

New Dads Survival Guide

Perinatology (Reference Values During Pregnancy)

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We are 9+ weeks and weather is already turning to spring-like. It was almost 30 degrees in last days, so it was a good opportunity for some walk. Daily walking is important and I need to be a strict reminder for her. Simple walking seems reasonable as she is not much into yoga or plates, like old days 🙂 Anything that relaxes her is welcome because her hormones are getting scary. I currently have no right to offend myself for any ups and downs so it is better to keep her with relaxing activities.

walking fit

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This weekend, we watched a movie said to be suitable for expecting parents. Well, it was less than moderate. This is the movie, 9 months, Hugh Grant starring. It was alright for consuming time together, but the movie does not deserve more than 3/10 and I still do not like Hugh Grant at all as an actor. Weekend joy was actually caused by finding artichoke in Metro market. She simply purchased all available in the market and immediately started preparing. How can a person like artichoke, really? No comments.

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As we are expecting next ultrasound check on 18 April, I am still dealing with changing pregnancy hormones 🙂 She is nowadays worried if she would be able to see her baby in next ultrasound. I need one more week to assure her that our baby grew a lot in last 3 weeks. Today I plan to finish season 6 of Walking Dead while she is asleep and meanwhile I learned that Narcos – Season 2 will be released on August 2016. I am actually seeking new series as her sleep time is fixed at 10 p.m 🙂 Sleep well my beauty

Update: All 10 episodes of Narcos Season 2, completed. Narcos is definitely one of the best series I have seen. Hijo de puta!

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As my girl is entering week 11, I need to mention some habits, ticks and twitches that I have had recently. I am spontaneously waking up in the middle of the night to check if she has blanket on her. Even on April, yes. I am automatically filling and emptying dishwasher, almost every day. I am scrolling my mobile screen with no purpose, switching from one app to another. I started to have empty looks, staring on the horizon. And I prepare a bottle of fresh water nearby – every night carefully prepared for her 🙂

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18 April 2016. This is the day we could see our baby clearly in ultrasound scan made by our beloved doctor Adina Lungu. Moreover, it was first time we have seen kiddo in a 3D ultrasound screen which is an exciting experience. Heartbeat is 165 bumps/minute, height is 4,26 cm, 3 times bigger than previous ultrasound session. We could not see yet if it was a boy or a girl, which sincerely doesnt matter at all. But we could see two legs and two arms and nasal system, bones, body, head, brain, blood flow, etc. Thanks God, everything seems ok so far. Estimated date of delivery (EDD) was 10.11.2016 according to LMP (Last menstrual period) but now it seems 06.11.2016 according to actual ultrasound age (AUA).

Coming to prenatal tests during pregnancy, we experienced two tests until now. The first one was the detailed blood test doctor asked for. There were around 80 different reference values including cholesterol, creatinine, calcium, glucose, hemoglobin, uric acid, HIV, Hepatit, etc. The results were ok, as doctor confirmed. Second test was the double test – FMF.

It is a simple blood test performed during the 11th-13th week of pregnancy; to measure the levels of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) and pregnancy associated plasma protein (PAPP-A) in the mother’s blood.

The results from the blood test are combined with other factors such as mother’s age, weight, ethnicity and gestation of pregnancy to assess the probability of a fetus having a genetic abnormality. In case of the first trimester screen, nuchal translucency (NT) or the thickness of fluid behind the baby’s neck is also incorporated into the overall assessment of the risk. It is measured during an ultrasound performed by a trained ultrasound specialist or perinatologist referred by the patient’s physician. (Source: next line diagnostics).

Waiting for results has never been so exciting.

Blood test completed, NT screening (ultrasound) is to be done on 5 May and next doctor visit is on 9 May.

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As we are entering week 12 and last week of April, we completed a full blood test and double test blood samples. Papp-A was 1.12 mUI/mL and free beta HCG was 28.51 UI/L. These results have no meaning stand-alone so thats why we are waiting for NT screening. Together, they all will be inputs for risk calculation of Down syndrome and Trisomi-18 syndrome. Double test is a risk calculator. It does not give a certain result. Once we have the risk rate, we will need to consult with our doctor. God saves the queen.

It was the first weekend we checked out some baby stores to see our options. It was more or less a window shopping. But, I realized a long shopping marathon is waiting for us.

We divided shopping into three : baby room furnitures, baby stroller and other supporting things.

Let the journey begin.

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Parenting is on the stage since the first mankind and all parents have their own way of growing up a baby. But still a piece of theory is helpful for someone who is totally new to the subject, like me. You can make fun of me, that`s fine, but I finished this 300 pages book, as of today – 26 April. Word by word, page by page, I was brainwashed with baby poo, diapers, strollers, supporting role of dad-to-be, pregnancy psychology, prenatal massage, vaccines, nursery room preparation, ultrasound stages, natural birth, etc, etc…

Well, I am proud of myself, but no more books for pregnancy and pro-pregnancy, please.

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My wife continues with the bible of pregnancy, What to Expect when You`re Expecting. My feeling is that she will not finish it 🙂 She is more happy with her mother blogs and all real life stories that she gets excited while reading.

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As we reached end of April, my wife is completing first trimester. On one hand, it passed so fast that I could not realize whats going on. On other hand, it was full of excitement, happiness and questions. We were conservative in spreading the news, but its time to inform close friends and relatives, I guess. It`s not hiding from people, but more getting used to the idea first yourself. It feels more comfortable this way.

I should thank to my wife that she was strong and determined with very few cases of extreme symptoms. Most probably, she hold all back and did not even tell me her discomforts. This is the woman I love and I adore her more each new day.

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5 May was an important day in our usual life. She went through an ultrasound scan for completing double test risk calculation. Actually double test which is applied between 11 – 14 weeks is not a diagnosis. Based on woman`s age, blood test results (PAPP-A and beta HcG) and NT (nuchal translucency)  scan, a software program calculates the risk percentage of chromosomal abnormalities. It is guiding you either to make further tests to determine the risk – risk that your baby might have Down Syndrome or Edwards Syndrome. On one hand, I am questioning why there are so many tests during pregnancy as it should have remained as a natural process, but on other hand you feel the need of making these tests because doc recommends or because everyone does it. Our results came up and doc says we are below the risk border or in other words we have negative results. That was a big relaxation. On top of that, my mother just arrived in Romania for a short supportive stay. For a moment, I felt like the captain.

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I do not know if you believe in God or not, but you find yourself several times praying during pregnancy. At least it is valid for me.

And, officially, we have ended first trimester. Guys, every 3 months of a pregnancy is called a trimester. In pregnancy literature, pregnancy is divided into three trimesters and we are now at the second one.

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9 May was the doc control after double test results came out. Gladly, the results seem alright and doctor does not require further triple test, quadruple test or amniocentesis. We also decided not trying so many risk tests. It was the first control without ultrasound, so it was short and clear. Only change is now with vitamin supplementary.

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I have one small advice to all father-to-be. Your wife`s doctor controls, early sleeps, massage requests, eating habits, changing shopping content, baby store visits are all manageable and fun though. You should learn how to deal with your wife`s changing psychology, ups and downs all the way. That`s the key. If you handle every day unexpected reactions, strange attitude and sensitive conversations, then you are done. I am not joking. She even does not understand she is acting differently. For her, everything seems as it should be. Well, I will be fair to my wife that she is not exaggerating as some other examples I hear, but still there is a big change. I just wish I have the power to handle all these changes during pregnancy and post-pregnancy.

By the way, we will hopefully learn kiddo`s sex on 6.6.2016 at 6 pm 🙂

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Guys, I have 3 advises to keep your lovely wife/girlfriend happy at this stage:

  1. Do not keep discussions long. Confirm her, let her be satisfied with your confirmation. Actually this advise is valid for all the time, not only for pregnancy period 🙂
  2. Massage the feet and belly. If you do not know how to do it, learn.
  3. Make some surprises, bring small presents, take her out and let her rest & sleep when she needs.

That`s all. Not so hard, ha?

a happy wife

a happy wife

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As passing through 4th month of pregnancy, we made the first shopping for our little one. It`s a unisex trousers 🙂 That`s a strange feeling full of soft dreams and expectations. Even not shouted out, every parent-to-be dreams about how it would be after birth, what kind of father/mother they would be, etc. Even this blog post is part of this dream. One day, I dream about reading it together with my kid.

first shopping

Meanwhile my wife is spending her days with drawing activities, it should be mind relaxing. On other side, I am still trying to find mind-relaxing, yin yang activities – riding a bicycle is on top of my list, let`s see.  Update : I did not ride a bike at all 🙂

drawing

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As we are passing through week 17, my wife has new symptoms such as backaches and leg pains. It seems to be normal to have such aches and it helps me improve my massage skills. That`s all I can do to help her, I guess. More support from Magne B6 that our doc Adina Lungu prescribed.

magne-b6

We expect to have the next ultrasound scan on June 6 – that would be more than a month with no ultrasound and making my wife so curious – Hopefully, we will be sure about the sex of the baby – girl or boy.

But in last two doctor visits, we were told that it is a girl, 60%. That`s a shame of health technology. How can you define such percentages without being sure? Anyways, in few days, we will be sure. Of course, like every human being, we could not keep ourselves away from thinking of appropriate girl names for our kid. I should admit that I was pretty much excited searching and seeking in websites, forums, memories, common moments, eksisozluk and movie teasers. I finalized my search with a shortlist below and if it is a girl, I think we both know which one will be the winner, but she has the right to know what were her name options. If it is a boy, never mind below shortlist, my son. We will come up with another shortlist 🙂

Shortlist for our girl`s name : mina, mira, derin, beren, yaren, irem, nil, eylül, ela, berrak, zeyno, lâl, birce, maral, pera, sıla, arın, balın, cemre, didar, dide, bal, özde, uzel, yade.

Fingers crossed for June 6.

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And it`s a girl, 100%. I will be a father of a beautiful girl, hopefully. When I first hear it from our doctor, I could not react properly, not because I was expecting a boy, but because of getting closer to the reality. My girl, I will try anything to be a a good father, with my goods and bads. Now we are going on a holiday to Turkey with you and enjoy the sun and sea as much as you can in your mother`s belly. We will do our best with your mom to find a name for you, a name that you will love and be proud of, all your life. By the way, our dear doctor Adina told me that you look exactly like me in ultrasound scan. That`s our first dad-daughter cooperation, good job 🙂

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My dear girl. We decided on your name: Dide Bal Özdemir

We searched a lot. And we loved these two names. Dide means the eye, pupil of the eye, iris in Persian. Bal has several meanings, most well-known meaning is honey. In old Turkish it means heart or life.

dide

  1. Göz.
  2. 1. göz. 2. gözcü. 3. gözbebeği. 4. gözucu.
  3. Göz, ayn, çeşm.

bal

  1. Arılarının bitki ve çiçeklerden topladıkları bal özünden yapıp kovanlarındaki petek gözlerine doldurdukları, rengi beyazdan esmere kadar değişen tatlı, koyu, sıvı madde.
  2. Olgunlaşmış incirin, dışına sızan tatlısı.
  3. Ağaçların kabuğundan sızarak pıhtılaşan besi suyu.
  4. Bal arılarının bitki ve çiçeklerden topladıkları bal özünden yapıp kovanlarındaki petek gözlerine doldurdukları, rengi beyazdan esmere kadar değişen tatlı, koyu, sıvı madde.
  5. Kovan ile mermi çekirdeklerinin tasnif, irtibat ve arşiv araştırma faaliyetlerinin daha etkin yürütülebilmesine olanak veren, bilgisayarlı görüntülü balistik analiz sistemi.
  6. Bal arıları tarafından üretilen ve esas itibarıyla glukoz ve fruktozdan oluşan, glukozdan daha tatlı, besin maddesi ve tıpta ilaç olarak kullanılan, yegane doğal küçük moleküllü şekerler karışımı.
  7. Özellikle kurşun, inorganik civa, arsenik, altın ve antimon gibi ağır metallerle heterosiklik şelat kompleksleri oluşturarak bu elementlerin, enzimlerde bulunan sülfidril gruplarına bağlanmasını engelleyen ve sonuçta idrarla atılımlarını sağlayanağır metal zehirlenmelerinde kullanılan birantidot, dimerkaprol.
  8. Kalb, gönül, yürek. Hatır.
  9. Kanat. (Osmanlıca’da yazılışı: bâl)

My dear daughter, Dide`m, Bal`im. Live peacefully, healthfully with your names.

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You recently traveled with us to Turkey for a summer holiday. We made almost 3,000 km.s together visiting Istanbul, Erdek, Inegol, Eskisehir, Ankara, Afyon, Burdur, Kemer/Tekirova, Olimpos, Cirali, Antalya, Manavgat/Side, Isparta, Kutahya.

You had your first swimming practice in the beautiful Mediterranean Sea. I promise I will teach you how to swim by yourself soon. You are now 350 grams and your mom is almost at 21 weeks.

Dide, we are now expecting 11 July to have a detailed ultrasound check. I am so excited to see you again, hopefully all healthy. We love you, my girl. Your mother and father had an enjoyable holiday, next summer we will do the same three of us, ok?

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Dide, ce faci? You might hear these words when you are born, so it is better you are prepared 🙂 It means `how are you` in Romanian. Do not worry, neither Deren nor I do not speak Romanian at home. Still, I really wonder what will be your first word and in which language 🙂

After holiday, we started preparing for you. As always, internet is the best supporter. There are tons of online sources both in English and in Turkish so there is no need to re-invent newborn preparation. By the way, Dide, there will be some names you will be hearing soon such as Erdogan, Ismet, Canan, Sevkiye, Secil, Ceren, Kerem, Evren and Defne. You will decide which one will be your favorite 🙂

Yesterday, on July 5, I felt your kick for the first time. Keep your kicks my girl, 4 months more, then I will be glad to be your punch bag.

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Dide, today, 11 July, we have a detailed ultrasound check with Dr. Adela Serban. We will disturb you shortly with ultrasound waves, do not get pissed off please. Once you are grown up enough, I will take you to the peaceful Baneasa forest. We will try riding a bike together, my girl.

riding bike in baneasa

By the way, Deren bought your first toy, let me introduce your weird friend, hope you get along well together.

first toy

Last but not least, this is your doctor, Adina Lungu. We keep the maternity with her and hopefully you will welcome the world in her hands on November. She is a great fan of Metallica. She is cool, isn`t she?

Adina Lungu dide`s doctor

 

Dide, it was a detailed ultrasound check today on 11 July and thanks God everything seems alright. You were very active during the check so it was impossible for me to take a good photo of you. Good job, you will not be a selfie girl. Hence, our doctor said Umbilical cord is around your neck. Not a big issue at this moment, but I trust you my girl, take this cord out of your neck before welcoming the world, please. We love you. We love every time we hear your heart beats. You are already 590 grams 🙂 Our next check with doctor is on 22 August. Until then, we need to make a blood test (protein C, fibrinogen, colesterol, glucoze, etc) and urine test. As Deren is 0 Rh+ and I am A Rh+, they also required an anti-A test in case Deren`s body can produce antibody against A Rh. Adina Lungu does not require neither vaccine for Deren nor oral glucoze tolerance test, at this moment.

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Deren gave blood samples for various type of tests, today on 20 July. Deren`s and your health is at first priority and I am behaving such protective more than ever. We are entering into preparation stage and we made our draft list based on friend, family recommendations, websites, blogs and our budget, of course. Even though we try to keep our list as minimum and necessary as possible, it is still quite a long one 🙂 I group them into 5 so that it gets easy to be prepared.

  1. Most necessary and budget-consuming ones : Nursery room (bed, wardrobe, drawer), baby stroller 3 in 1, contract with hospital.
  2. Everything for the newborn baby
  3. Everything for the mother (before, during and after delivery)
  4. Arrangements in the apartment
  5. Last-time costs

Nowadays, we are desperately waiting for your strong kicks, my girl. – fyi

ps: Meanwhile, Turkey has passed through a unsuccessful military coup attempt. Well, I will tell you more about it once you are grown up. 

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Meanwhile, on week 25, Deren is keen on continuing pregnancy yoga. At home, yoga pad, yoga CDs, candles are spread everywhere 🙂 Based on last blood test, due to lack of iron, Adina Lungu recommended Lactiferon supplementary pills. So she has a new member in her pills-gang.

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By the way, we had the nursery painted. Well done, aqua based anti-bacterial pinkish-yellowish white room, ready for the owner.

dide room

Time is flying. Deren already completed first 6 months. So far, so good. Meanwhile, my girl, you are already introduced in Instagram with your welcoming magnet.

melegin eli magnet

It can be a cliche, but you have your first e-mail address, Dide. It will be up to you in the future if you would like to use it, but I just wanted to reserve a nice gmail address for you. I will pass your e-mail account once you start mailing.

On top of that, we decided and purchased your stroller. So your first car is waiting to be assembled. It`s Inglesina Quad intense red. Let`s see how functional it will be.

inglesina quad

We are hoping to meet you on 22 August, I expect to capture a beautiful shot this time.

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Dide, this is a little gift from your aunt, Secil. She mentioned your name in questionnaire she is preparing for her psychology students. This is the first official use of your name 🙂

aunt questionnaire

Your `Hello World` magnet is already protected by your cousin, Defne 🙂

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On August 22, yesterday, was our 28 weeks ultrasound check with Adina Lungu. When delivery time comes closer, Deren is becoming more emotional and it is much more important for me to be with her in doctor visits. Everything seems normal including amniotic fluid, blood circulation, organs and placenta. You even rescued yourself from umbilical cord. That`s good news.

28 weeks ultrasound

You are measured as 1100 gram and doctor is suspicious about a possibility of thrombophilia (risk of thrombosis) as ultrasound age shows your growth 1 week earlier than gestational age should be. There is not much to worry about, but we need to make some blood tests and revisit our doctor on 30th week. I hope everything will be normal when we meet you again on September 5. As you can recognize anymore what you hear, we decided to insist on two songs that you are hearing now every day. You will hear `Living in the past` from me and `Spring waltz` from Deren. Pick up your favorite.

Meanwhile, we speed up our shopping activities for you and we picked your nursery.

Mothercare Harrogate White

Mothercare Harrogate White

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Today, on September 5, we were honored to see you again in our beloved ultrasound room. Of course, you hid your face again. It seems until birth, it will be impossible to see your face. Things seem alright, Deren is 30 weeks 4 days pregnant, your ultrasound growth shows 30 weeks 3 days. Your weight is 1600 grams, with +/- 200 grams standard deviation. What is new? You changed your breech position, my girl. You are now head-down position. It means your head started to make pressure on the cervix. Cervix length is over 3 cm, so it`s low probability of preterm birth. But doctor warns Deren to have a rest from now on. By the way it`s Deren`s last week at work. She is having mixed emotions, ups and downs during the day, more than anytime 🙂

Moreover, Deren starts to use additional iron support in order to increase number of blood cells and hemoglobin.

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Today, on September 13, Deren and I are proud to add one more memory to your life time, Dide. We planted an apple tree in front of our apartment that will grow with you. The roots will whisper your name to Mother Earth. Next to your apple tree, another apple tree and a pear tree will grow as well to protect you as long as they are alive. Our family has 3 trees in Romania now and let`s keep this family habit for the future.

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Recently, Deren just stopped taking Aspenter that was useful for her blood circulation during pregnancy. It was the supplementary pill that she used for the longest period in her pregnancy.

aspenter-75mg

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On September 20, I completed 3 modules parenting course and got my certificate 🙂 It was a total 6 hours course with topics of maternity, pregnancy, birth, after birth, first year and first aid. I should admit that I didn`t get anything except the ones I translated to Deren, as full course was in Romanian. But still it`s a step. Moreover you as father-to-be has the right to take 2 full paid weeks holiday from work obtaining this certificate. Romania deserves a big congratulations for all these work laws in place.

parental certificate

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Today, on September 26, we visited Dr. Saguna in Regina Maria hospital for determining possibility of IUGR causes and her first reaction is to complain about having patients who do not speak Romanian. Shame on you, Dr. Saguna. Someone should remind you of Hippocratic Oath. Anyways, we knew that there would be tough times having a pregnancy outside your home country. But, I want to thank to my beautiful wife, Deren, that she was strong and patient enough to handle the issues. We are expecting a 34 weeks ultrasound check with Dr. Adina Lungu on October 3. We are entering in the last month, God bless my wife and my daughter.

Good news is that Dide`s room is almost ready. I hope she will have a healthful and pleasant time in her room.

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On October 3, we had a 35th week ultrasound control with Dr. Adina. Good news is that development of organs, blood circulation, level of amniotic fluid are all OK. But there is something else. Our lovely daughter succeeded to curl umbilical cord around her neck, again 🙂 It`s surprising how she succeeded, but it is not common at this gestational age. If situation continues, there is a possibility to switch to c-section for the delivery. We will see. From this week on, we will have weekly controls with Dr. Adina. On October 4, Deren gave blood for the last time during pregnancy. On October 7, there will be prenatal and pre-anesthetic assessments. Dide weighs 2,500 grams (+/- 300 grams standard deviation) currently.

Shortly, Deren is entering the last month of pregnancy. She is emotionally, psychologically and physically preparing and my primary role is to support her fully. Whatever delivery type it will be, natural birth or c-section, i just hope we will healthfully hug our beloved daughter in the end.

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Dear Dide Bal, your room is almost ready, we hope you will like it 🙂

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On October 10, we had week 36 checks. These NST checks will be weekly until the delivery. Baby`s health seems alright, however there is a umbilical cord around her neck. We had our discussion with Dr. Adina Lungu and we decided that a c-section will be the most appropriate solution for the delivery. So far, Deren always wanted a natural birth however it brings some risks which we do not want to take.

Dr. Adina explained that if we sustain on natural birth, she can accept it, but risks will remain. During the natural birth delivery, there is a risk that baby can remain with no oxygen because of the umbilical cord. That`s why Deren prepares herself for a c-section at the beginning of November.

Next week, we will decide on the exact date of c-section with epidural & spinal mixed anesthesia, if baby still keeps the umbilical cord around her neck. I totally understand it`s a hard decision for Deren as she was dreaming to have a natural birth, but baby`s health comes first.

Anyways, we are in the last month. Time passed so slow and so fast. I, personally, only want my wife and my daughter to be healthy, whatever the delivery method Dr. will apply.

God saves my queens.

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As days are passing, Deren continues her yoga sessions 🙂 She has been following a trio session at home that she finds useful for stretching and mind-relaxing.

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On October 17, it was another visit to our beloved doctor, Adina Lungu. She keeps confirming that health of the baby is alright and that umbilical cord is still covering her neck. With all info and controls so far, here is our common decision. We will wait for a natural birth and if it is the case, Deren will go through a c-section.

I am trying to understand Deren as she has been always wishing of a natural birth. But it seems health of the baby is uppermost important issue. Therefore we feel like trusting our doctor as she foresees some risks of natural birth with umbilical cord around the neck of the baby. My only wish is to have our baby and my wife healthful in the end.

Bal already reached 3 kg. according to ultrasound scan results.

Our parents and siblings are preparing to be in Romania with us on the birth day.

Deren keeps on decorating the nursery.

We are both trying to get used to the idea of `parenting`.

This is the summary of 37th week of pregnancy.

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On October 24, it was 38th week visit to the doctor. It was the only time I could not join Deren`s ultrasound scan and guess what. My daughter showed her face for the first and only time in ultrasound screen. Probably it was her grandmother`s chance who joined the sessions for the first time. Life is not fair, always 🙂

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We are coming closer to the happy end, we started welcoming our parents in the house and we are full of mixed emotions. I find myself waking up at 5 a.m., watching a baby bath video, then opening some youtube videos, watering the plants, getting into bed again, dressing up and so on. It seems like my body is getting prepared for undetermined and unscheduled events.

Hospital bags are ready. Nursery is ready. Chocolates and magnets are ready.

Are we? I do not know the answer.

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On 31 October, we had our last doctor visit. It was last because we decided to go through a c-section because of two main reasons. Umbilical cord is still baby`s neck which might cause complications during natural delivery. Second, Deren`s amniotic fluid is almost finished that might lead to an urgent delivery as well. Considering our doctor`s feedback and what we read so far, c-section will be less risky for the baby and mother. A programmed c-section is setup for November 3, Thursday.

According to ultrasound age, 39 weeks will be finished on November 3.

It was a long journey, a very different year for our family, with all ups and downs. Now all I wish is to have my baby and my wife healthful after the delivery.

We are waiting for you, Dide, with your handmade evil eye (nazar boncugu) hanging on your room wall.

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And happy end.

Dide Bal Ozdemir was born on November 3, 2016 at 09:37 on a Thursday morning, 3,060 kg and 49 cm, in Regina Maria Maternity Hospital in Bucharest, Romania.

Alles gutes. Amin.

sunt fetita

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